Death and the Rest of My Life

I was with a family today that lost a loved one.  As a matter of fact, I was in the room when the final pronouncement was made.  This isn’t the first time that I have been up close and personal with death.  However, I had never experienced death in this way until I became a pastor.  Sure I had been to funerals, even had family members of my own die.  But until I was a pastor I had never been there when the moment actually came, I had never seen the process taking place.  I’ll admit, it’s kind of a weird feeling when it happens.  I can’t really explain my gut reaction.  While on the one hand I feel grief for the family at their loss, I am also in shock I what I am witnessing…someone taking a last breath, one last sound, one last hug, all accompanied by a flood of tears at being in the person’s presence one last time.  One last time…that’s it…it’s over…life on earth is done.

  I am always reminded of Moses prayer in Psalm 90, “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (verse 12).   To number my days…to consider that life is short…this could be my last day…could be my last moment…get a heart of wisdom…don’t waste my days…do things that matter…don’t be lazy…invest in people…invest in eternal matters…

Oh God, help me, I often waste my days.  Please give me wisdom to know how to spend my time.  May I not fall short in being a faithful father and husband and pastor.  May I not get caught up in trivial pursuits.  Give me energy and zeal to push hard today, because this could be it.  May I love you more.  May I love what you love.  Thank you for my hope in Jesus Christ, that lets me rest in knowing that if today is it, then that’s okay, because I will be with you and you will take care of those I leave behind.