A little something for the married folk.

So I haven’t posted in forever…there goes my loyal following.  To ease myself back into the whole blog thing, I thought I would take a week or two and post some stuff we have recently given out at our church.  Hopefully this will serve two purposes: 1)  If someone from my church missed these studies, then they can get them, 2) If you are struggling with some of these issues or are interested in some of these topics, maybe this will give you a starting point from which to dig deeper. 

Today’s post is about making marriages stronger.  I don’t pretend to be an expert in theory or practice (ask my wife if you don’t believe me).  However, this is an attempt at putting a few thoughts together from the Bible on this topic.  I hope this is helpful.  Feel free to post any questions or comments you might have, or add to the list with additional insights from the Bible.  I will check back every couple of days and respond to as many as I can.  So here goes…

(P.S.  I probably have not had an original thought in my life, so I state up front that more than likely I have heard someone speak about the points below, read about them, or been directed to these texts by someone else…I just can’t remember who.)

Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage and Avoid Divorce

 To the Unmarried:

1. Make sure marriage is God’s plan for you

            1 Cor. 7:6-9, Mt. 19:10-12

2. Stay pure

            1 Thess. 4:1-8

3. Marry the right person

            2 Cor. 6:14-16, 1 Cor. 7:25-39

4. Commit for life or don’t commit

            Gen. 2:24, Mal. 2:14-16

To the Married:

1. Live by the roles God created

            Gen. 2:18, Eph. 5:22-33, 1 Cor. 11:3

            (Understand the fight against these – culture, flesh)

2. Keep God central

            Josh. 24:15

3. Erase “divorce” from vocabulary

            Mal. 2:16

4. Be quick to forgive

            Eph. 4:32

5. Work at communicating

            Eph. 4:25-27, 29-32

6. Trust in God’s sovereignty and know He is using your marriage to sanctify you

            Rom. 8:28-29

7. Maintain an active sex life

            1 Cor. 7:2-5

8. Be faithful

            Mal. 2:14, Ex. 20:14, Mt. 5:27-30

9. Deal with sin quickly

            James 4:1-2, Mt. 5:29-30, 1 Jn. 1:9

 To those Married to someone who is not a Christian:

Christian Wife:

1. Submit to win

            1 Pt. 3:1-6, 1 Cor. 7:12-14

2. Pray with support from brothers and sisters in Christ

Christian Husband:

1. Lead and love like Christ

            Eph. 5:25-30

2. Pray with support from brothers and sisters in Christ

Would someone please kill the easter bunny already?!?

I hate the easter bunny!!! 

Ahh, I feel better now.  That has been on my chest for weeks.  I tried to hold it in…but anyway…I know you might think that I sound like a Bible thumpin fundamentalist, known more for what I’m against that what I’m for.  But you see, that’s the thing, it’s what I am for that makes me want to scream and beat my head on the wall everytime I see a cute little pink bunny promising goodies come Sunday morning.  I don’t have anything against bunnies, and I have to admit I have been chowing down on a chocolate one today (a gift, thank you very much).  I don’t even have anything against silly traditions that people grew up with and want to pass down to their kids, and use to make themselves feel all nostalgic and like a kid again.  I personally wish I still lost teeth so that my parents would put money under my pillow. 

The problem(s) I have with the easter bunny (or bunnies, unless your doctrine of the easter bunny includes him/her/it being omnipresent), is twofold:

1.  For many people it’s a distraction from the real meaning of Easter.  If we love Jesus so much, and if what He accomplished on the cross and through the resurrection are the greatest things to celebrate in the world, then why even take a chance on letting something overshadow that (especially something fake).  Is Easter so boring that we need extra traditions to look forward to?  Is the resurrection not enough to bring families together and fill the home with laughter and joy?  Do the depths of the Gospel not provide so much fodder for conversation and praise that we need extra activities to take up our celebration time and activities? 

The enemy wants nothing more than to completely secularize the celebration of the resurrection of the King of kings.  Not suprisingly, he is doing a good job of that in our culture.  The sad thing is that Christians are playing right into his hand.  I realize that it’s just one day a year, so what’s the big deal, right?  But where does it stop.  I am afraid that for many this is symptomatic of a life lived flirting with the world.  If the salt loses its saltiness…

I am not trying to be a jerk and get all legalistic about a “gray area.”  I am bound to my conscience as you are to your’s in those areas.  However, with the current state of our culture and the church, I see a real danger in followers of Jesus not thinking through their traditions and justifying living a “normal” lifestyle by the world’s standards.  My heart, and probably your’s too, wants to see Jesus be kept central.  We just need to be on guard to make sure we are doing that.

2.  Parents often use it as an excuse to lie to their kids.  “The Easter bunny is coming Sunday!”  Lie.  “The easter bunny brought you a basket!” Lie.  “The Easter bunny hid some eggs for you to find!” Lie. 

Since when did lying stop being a sin?  “But it’s all in fun.”  Sin is always ”fun” (or beneficial in our minds in some way) or we wouldn’t want to do it.  “We’ll tell him when he’s older that it’s just pretend.”  And at the same time teach him that lying is okay as long as it’s “harmless” and you tell the truth later?  ”My parents told me the Easter bunny was real and I turned out okay.”  Your parents, nor how you turned out, are your standard, God’s word is.

When you kids find out that you and all the other adults in their lives have been lying to them about the easter bunny, what is to keep them from assuming the same thing about God?  How hard it must be for a little mind to understand that something they can see (like the easter bunny) is pretend while hearing that somone they can’t see (God) is real.  (Already had to deal with this issue to a degree with my own kids as their teachers at school have told them everything from Santa to leprachauns are alive and active.)   

Look, you may be a person who celebrates the resurrection and includes the Easter bunny in your celebration and you have somehow found a way to do it so that the focus stays on Christ, your kids know that Easter bunny isn’t real, and your conscience is clear before God that you are glorifying Him in your celebration, not compromising with the world, and not confusing your kids.  Then go for it.  Who am I to judge? 

However, if you are a person that has been lying to your kids, the call is to repent before God and immediately tell the truth to those you have lied to.  I’m not judging you, I am just telling you what God has said (Ephesians 4:15,25).

I’m not against imagination and fun and make believe.  But when it comes to Easter (and Christmas for that matter, I don’t like the fat guy either) I am jealous of the glory and focus being taken from God.  And when it comes to ”Christian” parents lying to their kids, I just don’t get it.  If I am “against” anything it’s the sin for which Jesus suffered and died and anything that takes glory from Him.     

Remember that part in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” when the little rabbit attacks the guys and kills them?  It was so innocent and cuddly looking, and yet deadly…I think somebody finally killed it and all was well.  I pray for the same happy ending.

Disclaimer:  I do not recommend the above mentioned movie, as I have never seen all of it, and frankly just don’t find it funny. 

Predestination Pt. 2: Aren’t we all just SICK?

There have been some great comments to my first post on the topic of predestination.  However, there is one begging question…Where are the folks with a different view?  For the sake of discussion I want to throw out a question for response dealing with an aspect of predestination that is fundamental to our understanding. 

The question…What is the spiritual condition of a person outside of Christ (before they get saved)? 

I remember when I was young, going to church most every Sunday, I would hear the message of Christ preached with an appeal at the end for people to “get saved.”  Many times the preacher would say something like, “Just take the first step, and then God will do the rest,” implying we could and would take that step on our own.  The picture that was presented concerning the condition of man and his need outside of Christ, was that we all had caught a sickness called sin.  Thus we all needed medicine.  It was true that as “sick” people we were weak and needed help, but there was just enough strength left (just enough of our being not affected by sin) to reach up (or step out, or whatever) and choose to take the medicine that God had to offer. 

You’ve probably heard analogies similar to this.  One popular analogy used in this manner is that we are drowning, and God has thrown us a life preserver in Christ.  However, we can and must, on our own, choose to reach out and grab hold to be saved. 

These analogies imply that we can say “yes” to God on our own strength if we so choose.  God will “give us the present, but we have to unwrap it.”

Are these analogies correct?  Is this what the Bible teaches about people outside of Christ?  Are they sick?  Are they drowning?  Is this the truth the Bible presents?  Can people, will people, choose Christ on their own? 

The answer to these questions will set the trajectory of your thoughts on predestination, if you are consistent in your thinking.  So what do you think?

PREDESTINATION !?!

In my first post, “There Is A Point After All,” I made it known that I was open to topics and questions to discuss.  Well, here’s a doozy…predestination…presented to me by a follower of Jesus who is trying to understand this doctrine.  Great discussion starter… and ender.  Of all the topics we could discuss this is one that often leaves people either not talking to you because they are mad, wanting to talk to you more because they are mad, or wanting to talk about the people on the other “side” because they are mad.  Why does this doctrine make people so mad? 

I think part of the reason people get so mad about it is because of the way it is often discussed.  Whether you are a Calvinist or Arminian, or somewhere in between (?), we have a tendency to look down on folks who don’t agree with us on this issue.  Our pride often shows when we talk about predestination because we are so quick to get snappy and offended as if the other person is attacking us personally rather than simply trying to come to terms with this subject.  (If they are purposely attacking you rather than the subject, end the conversation and find someone to talk to who actually acts like they love Jesus, loves others, and wants to understand the Bible.)  We often hit below the belt by quickly pointing out the extremes of each position, while often these extreme tendencies aren’t even characteristic of the person we are talking to or of their beliefs.  Acting this way is not okay, especially when talking about the Word of God as “mature Christians”.

So what is the answer to this problem?  The answer must be to discuss predestination (as well as any topic) in the context of Christian love.  Obviously this is an important doctrine to talk about because it’s in the Bible, and every doctrine in the Bible is important.  We cannot ignore predestination.  We must realize that it is healthy for us to wrestle with this doctrine and try to understand it biblically, not basing our views on man’s philosophy or wisdom, but on God’s revealed truth.  Therefore, all of our arguements must be from Scripture, properly understood and applied, using the best tools of interpretation and application available, and making sure we square each use of a proof text with the rest of God’s Word on the matter.  If we do this we will not only please God, but grow in our understanding of predestination.  However, it’s as we do it in a context of love that the way in which we study and discuss will be effected.  For if we all love God, then our goal will be the same, to know and glorify Him.  And if we all love each other then our method will be the same, speaking the truth without hitting below the belt or getting personal, and genuinely trying to help our brothers and sisters grow and change, while trying to grow and being open to change ourselves. 

These are the rules we will seek to follow.  The topic is on the table.  (Are we predestined?  To what?  When?  Why?  By whom?  Why does it matter?)  So what do you say?  Or should I ask, what do you think the Bible says?

Try this Study Bible for FREE!

For the month of March you can try out the online version of the ESV Study Bible for free.  Check it out at www.esvstudybible.org.  I am new to this study Bible, but so far it looks pretty good.  What do you think?

Faceless on FB

So I have a facebook account.  I gave in.  I caved to the pressure to step into the 21st century.  I will miss my cave paintings and stories by the fire, but now I can’t go back. 

Okay, I am being dramatic.  I do have a facebook account, but what makes my profile unique (if that’s possible) is that I have not posted one single picture for people to look at, not even a profile pic.  In a selfish way I kind of like being able to look at all my friends pictures and leave them with nothing in return.  Ha!

As I was thinking about my need to post some pictures (I have to be fair and I do want to show off my family) I was reminded that often this is the way we live life.  We seek to remain just another face in the crowd, not letting anyone really know or see the real us, while in the meantime we find out as much as we can about their lives and pick them apart with our self-exalting opinions.  This is safe for us.  We can be heard, but never really seen. 

There is one, however, that we can ‘t hide from.  One that knows our deepest secrets, most embarrassing moments, best qualities, how we think, how we feel, how we love…one to whom “no creature is hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare” (Hebrews 4:13, NASB).  The one is God, to whom we must all give an account.  He sees through the thickest smoke or the most dense crowd.  He sees it all. 

 I think this is the key to being able to be open with other people.  It’s when we realize that all of us are sinners, we’ve all messed up, and that our only hope is found not in being better than others, but in the grace of God, that are we free to move out of the shadows.  Then we can have relationships that are open and authentic as we stand on the level ground at the foot of the cross together, sinner with sinner, both saved by grace. 

I guess it’s about time to post some pictures of myself on facebook.  I know that people will see that I have gotten older, fatter, balder.  That’s okay though…because so have they.

What is a good study Bible?

I was recently asked to recommend a good study Bible to someone, and so I thought I would just share with everyone in case you would like to know as well (If you just want the recommendations, then stop reading and just skip to the end).  But first, you may be wondering what a study Bible is.  So let me tell you briefly.  It’s a Bible with extra stuff in it to help you understand what the Bible is saying.  Most study Bibles have a list of verses dealing with the same topic you are reading about to help you get a fuller picture of what God’s Word says on that topic (this is called cross referencing).  Most study Bibles have notes explaining the meaning of passages as well as explanations of key doctines, a concordance (to look up certain words in the Bible), maps, book introductions, tables, charts, etc.  The thing that you must keep in mind is that the study notes and explanations are written by men and women just like me and you, that means they can be wrong just like me and you.  So the key to a good study Bible is finding one that hasn’t been put together by some wacko with an agenda, but rather by someone who is sincerely trying to help you understand the original meaning of the text. 

It is also important to get a version of the Bible that is as close to a word for word translation that you can find, such as the ESV (English Standard Version), NASB (New American Standard), NKJV (New King James Version), HCSB (Holman Christian Standard).  Some versions out there have been translated thought by thought rather than word for word such as the NIV (New International Version) and the NLT (New Living Translation).  Not that there is anything evil with these versions (for the most part they are fine), but if you are wanting to seriously study the Bible it is better to get a word for word translation so that what you are reading is as close to the original text as possible.  For you see, when you read a thought for thought version, someone has already been interpreting the Scriptures for you as they choose how to best communicate the Biblical thought for our day.  You avoid this with word for word translations (as much as can be avoided in translating something).  There are also paraphrases out there such as The Living Bible and The Message.  These may be useful for simply reading the Bible, but are not suitable for study or building doctrine upon.

I would also add that I would seek to get a study Bible that is more doctrine driven than devotional driven.  You can always supplement your Bible reading with a good devotional book if that is what you want.  Then you can take that devotional and understand the doctrine behind it more deeply with your study Bible. 

Finally, remember study Bibles are meant to be aids to help you study, not take the place of you doing the work of looking up verses and studying on your own.  And I wouldn’t get too attached to one person’s writings or one particular study Bible or commentary, it is good to use a wide variety of sources so that you can more clearly see if someone is off in left field.  Be sure you read with your eyes open.  There are orthodox people out there who write good stuff but may not believe exactly how you do on secondary matters (not primary issues like the Trinity, but secondary such as the mode of baptism).  Take this as a challenge to either defend or change you views.

So for my recommendations: 

The Reformation Study Bible (ESV) – I use it, love it. 

The MacArthur Study Bible (NASB)  – I use it, love it.

The ESV Study Bible – Newly published, but supposed to be very good.

There you have it.  That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it.

Do I have to tell the truth when it will hurt the other person?

Recently at our church we looked at Matthew 5:33-37 and talked about oaths and keeping our word.  A question that came out of that message was, “Are we supposed to tell the truth if it is going to hurt someones feelings?”  Great question.

For the answer I refer you not only to the passage mentioned above, but also to Ephesians 4:25: “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” 

Here we see that we are commanded to speak the truth.  Notice Paul didn’t say to speak the truth sometimes or just when it’s convenient, he simply lays out God’s command to speak it, all the time.  Now it would be easy to take this verse and get real nasty with people, spouting out your opinion in the name of “truth telling” without being asked, and not caring how it affects others (you might know someone like that).  I remember once being told (out of the blue) that my beard made my face look fat.  Ouch!  But hey, it was the truth so it was okay, right? (I am sure they had my best interest in mind.)    

So, part of the answer to the question is yes, we should tell the truth even when it hurts.  However, we must do this in the context of the love of Christ, and only for the other person’s benefit.

Ephesians 4:15: “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…”

Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”   

There will be times when you have a truthful comment that you should keep to yourself unless asked to share.  However, in times when there is unrepentant or unknown sin in someones  life, when someone may be seriously harmed if you don’t speak, and when someone seeks your opinion – let them have it…in a spirit of love.  Obviously there may be other times that you have to speak up for some reason (when not asked) even though it may hurt the other person’s feelings.  The question we must ask ourselves is are we acting in love (by speaking or not, and by how we speak, the words we choose, etc.), or are we just pridefully asserting our opinion for our selfish benefit.

Temptation: Don’t Blame Me

People are excuse factories.  Think about yourself for a moment.  When someone tells you that you messed up or that something is your fault, what is the first thing you do?  If you are like me you try to think quickly (if you even have to think, this typically happens almost naturally) and you spout out the first legit sounding reason for why it’s not your fault.  You might blame the car, the kids, the dog, the weather, etc., etc., etc…anything but yourself.  There is a word for this, it’s called blameshifting (hardly needs definition).  It is trying to shirk responsibility for your actions by getting the spotlight off you and onto something or someone else.  It typically works because most folks (save maybe your spouse) don’t like confrontation, so they choose not to put a finger in your face and hold you accountable. 

Here’s the bad part for followers of Jesus – we often do this with God (and others) when it comes to sin in our life.  That’s right, sin is our fault.  Behind every sin there is a choice to sin, we just don’t like to acknowledge it.  Temptation cannot make you sin.  The devil cannot make you sin.  Your parents (your upbringing) do not make you sin.  Nothing and noone can make you sin.  You choose sin.  True, you may be predisposed to certain temptations, but the choice to give in is still yours. 

In 1 Corinthians 10:13, God pretty much takes care of most of the excuses we give for sin in our lives. “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”  In that one verse, God takes care of the following excuses and more…

1.) “No one has ever been through this kind of temptation before.”

2.)”I was just too weak not to give in.”

3.)”There was no way to avoid it.”

4.)”It was more than I could handle.”

5.)”God didn’t care that I was being tempted.” 

And the list could go on.

It is extremely important to recognize that sin is a choice you make.  Until you own your decision to sin, you can’t experience true repentance, freedom from that sin, or restored fellowship with God (1 John 1:9).  The next time you sin, don’t make excuses or shift the blame, own your decision.  You have to face the enemy to fight it.  Go to the throne of God for grace (Hebrews 4:14-16), and remember He can and will help you (Hebrews 2:17-18).

There is a point after all.

So I have started a blog, adding one more thing to my life to keep up with.  To make sure that this endevour doesn’t become a waste of time, I decided that I must make sure that there is a purpose to writing other than just letting my brain leak all over the screen, reminiscing about things in my life that I think are interesting but would put you to sleep.  This blog must be about more than just my opinion, observations, and experiences, even though those things will be involved, it must have a goal.  

I have decided that the purpose for this blog is to feed an ongoing conversation about living life as a follower of Jesus Christ.  It will be a place to ask tough questions that no one wants to ask.  It will be a place to encourage others when the “right” things turn out wrong.  And it will be a place to promote change as we strive to live and love like Jesus.  

With those things in mind, I will seek to post at least twice a week and will look forward to your thoughts and reactions.  God bless.